self-care:Is it selfish?

At one time, self-care was a foreign concept to me. In fact, when someone suggested it, I cringed at the idea. I believed that I was selfish if I put myself first.

That’s because we are conditioned to put others first, no matter what the cost. Early on, we are taught that it is wrong to be selfish.

However, I’d like to bust that belief wide open! When we take time out to care for ourselves, we actually have more to give to others. That’s because our energy has been restored. It also helps us to be more alert, positive, and aware.

Now, let’s look at the consequences of neglecting ourselves while others become our priority. When I was in college, I had a close friend who was very draining on my energy. In retrospect, I see that she wasn’t the only needy person in the relationship. During one semester, she became anxious and depressed, and it became so severe that she feared that she could not function. Even though I was depressed myself, I catered to her every need. While I thought that I was also helping myself by focusing on her problems, I felt hopeless because I couldn’t help her. During that time, I lost sleep, consumed carbs and caffeine at an alarming rate, and could not concentrate on my assignments. I was also in our college’s chapel choir and participated in the social work club. Another friend saw that I was struggling and offered to help with my needy friend. That was a perfectly suitable arrangement, at least until superfriend came down with strep throat and mono at the same time. She became so exhausted that I ended up caring for both of them.

One day, I just crashed. I was so depressed and exhausted that I could not get out of bed. It turned out that I was so busy that I forgot about me.

There are several ways to turn that around. I could have cared for myself by asking for help with my tendency toward codependency and feelings of hopelessness. Also, I could have taken several breaks during the day and set boundaries on my time and energy. Also, I could have simply said no to my friends and referred them to the appropriate professionals. By doing those things, I could have avoided pain and suffering.

However, we don’t have to wait for a crisis before we adopt a self-care routine. This does not have to be complicated or expensive. Some self-care strategies include meditation, exercise, eating a healthful diet, taking a hot bath, or seeking support from family and friends. There are many ways to make you a priority in your life, so I also encourage you to come up with your own techniques and practice them as often as you can.

transforming limiting beliefs 3:calling all angels

If the last two techniques didn’t resonate with you, maybe this one will. It’s as simple as asking the angels for help.

You are not required to practice a specific religion or spiritual belief to ask for their assistance. Best of all, you don’t have to reach a certain level of initiation, spend hours in meditation, or be a famous psychic. All it takes is a little bit of faith.

The next time you are plagued by a limiting belief or faced with a seemingly insurmountable problem, take a deep breath, relax, and say a quick prayer, and God and the angels will come to your aide.

It doesn’t even need to be a formal prayer. It could be as easy as saying: Angels, I need your help with ___, and I thank you. You may or may not notice a difference right away, but these heavenly beings do hear our prayers, and they do answer.

For more information on angel communication, I highly recommend Doreen Virtue’s books on amazon. Also, if you enjoy my blog and would like an intuitive reading, I can be contacted at jsisco2013 (at) This concludes my three-part series on transforming limiting beliefs.

transforming limiting beliefs part 2:tapping

Many of you may have heard of a technique called emotional freedom techniques, or EFT for short. It involves repeating certain phrases while tapping on certain energy points of the body. Some people may be skeptical about this technique because it sounds easy, and they’re right. It is easy.

I was skeptical about it, too. I decided to try it for myself because I read that it can be used to transform limiting beliefs. There are many resources on the subject, so I’ll just give you an example of how it can be used, and you can adapt it to fit your own needs.

First, I took a deep breath, and rated my distress around this belief on a scale from 1 to 10. Even though I have this belief that I’m not good enough, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. I said this setup statement three times. Also, notice that I used the positive. I could have said: Even though I’m not good enough, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. However, I would actually be reinforcing the belief that I’m not good enough.

Then, using the pads of the fingertips on one of my hands, I tapped the points on the top of my head, side of the eye, under the nose, just below the bottom lip called the chin point, my collarbone, and under my arm. While doing this, I said what is called a reminder phrase. Notice any thoughts that come up as you do this, and stop to tap on those as needed. Do this until your distress level is as close to zero as possible. There are several other techniques under the umbrella of EFT, but these are the basics.

transforming limiting beliefs part 1

In the last post, I talked about our beliefs and how they can help or harm us.

Now, I’d like to give you some suggestions on how to transform those limiting beliefs into more productive ones. There are many ways to do this, and I couldn’t possibly cover all of them in this post. However, I will discuss three of these techniques. My suggestion is to take what resonates with you and leave the rest.

First, I’d like to discuss affirmations. These are positive statements that can be repeated silently or out loud which can create lasting change. However, I have found that it’s not as easy as repeating a few phrases. Sure, these positive self-statements definitely make us feel good about ourselves and cause us to shift into a more positive mindset, but if we don’t believe them, we can actually block their ability to affect change. For example, there were periods of my life when I suffered from nearly paralyzing depression.

Around this time, I began to read about such things as the law of attraction and affirmations. Every morning, I would say: I am happy. However, after several weeks, I didn’t notice any change. Why? Well, first of all, I said it without enthusiasm, so there was no intention behind it, and I did not believe that I could be happy again. Secondly, I viewed happiness as something external to myself, and I did not take any steps to achieve happiness.

So you see, affirmations alone do cause a positive shift in our energy, and if used over time, may create lasting change for some people. However, if the affirmation is repeated with the belief that things will never change for you, affirmations alone may not be the way to go. However and there is no judgment here, if you don’t take small steps to change your situation, you may limit or even thwart their effects.

In my next post, I will discuss emotional freedom techniques, which can also help to eliminate limiting beliefs.

If you enjoy reading my blog and would like an intuitive reading, I can be contacted at:

beliefs: Do they help or harm?

First, let’s examine the origin of our beliefs. Our earliest beliefs probably come from our caregivers.

Then, we are bombarded by more beliefs by our schools, churches, peer groups, or social organizations. On top of this, we begin to develop our own beliefs about things. This is not a bad thing.

However, it is important to examine whether those beliefs are helping or hindering us. How do we do that?

Well, I would encourage people to use their intuition, or internal guidance systems, to do this. Let’s take the example of yesterday’s post. Prior to examining my beliefs about success, I believed that I was a failure because I didn’t have the grades or that dream job. If I had tuned into my intuition, this is what it would look like.

I would have taken a deep breath and asked myself how the belief made me feel. Perhaps I would have felt a tightness in my stomach or some anxiety around the issue. Then, I could have asked myself: What are the most likely consequences of maintaining this belief?

Then, I could have replaced it with a more positive belief about success instead of learning to do it the heard way. In the next post, I will give you some suggestions on how to transform those limiting beliefs. In the meantime, I encourage you to try the above exercise. Pick one area of your life such as finances, career, or health and list your beliefs about those things.

Then, take a deep breath, relax, and tune into the sensations in your body. Ask yourself: How does this belief make me feel? If it feels negative, ask yourself: What are the consequences of holding onto this limiting belief? If you’re ready to take this a step further, ask yourself: What is a more empowering belief?

redefining success

How do we define this thing called success anyway? Don’t we all want to be successful? Well, that’s a great start, but first we have to define it for ourselves. I used to think that if I earned good grades in school, worked really hard, and strived for perfection, I’d eventually find that dream job and start earning some money. Maybe then, I could say that I was successful. Well, I have a confession for you. Some of my college grades weren’t really that great, I’m not perfect, and I’m definitely not rolling in dough.

So if I were to use my previous definition of success, then I’d have to say that I am a failure. However, I prefer not to think of myself that way. I believe that in order to define success, we need to take a more holistic approach. That is, we need to look at the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of our situation. Now, after taking my previous view of success and replacing it with a holistic view, let’s take another look at the subject. Within the last two years, I’ve lost fifty pounds, significantly decreasing my risk of developing certain diseases. As a result, I’m more active and have more energy. I’ve also adopted a more positive attitude, significantly reduced the effects of negative self-talk, and decreased my dosage of antidepressant medication. I’ve also graduated from college with a degree in social work, began writing a book, and will be starting an intuitive counseling business. I’d say that after redefining success, I can see that I am successful. How do you define success?

When you think of letting go, many things might come to mind. You can let go of physical things such as the pair of shoes that you just had to have, but you realize that they don’t go with anything you own anyway.

You may also have to let go of a relationship that just isn’t working anymore. Perhaps, like me, you’re getting ready to move away from your house for the first time, or perhaps you’re struggling to let go of a deceased loved one.

Maybe that job isn’t working for you anymore, and it’s time to try something new.

Whatever the case may be for you, letting go of our old “stuff” is a necessary part of allowing something new into our lives.

Let’s use career as an example. When I began studying to be a social worker, I thought that it was my purpose in life. I was so excited about getting out there in the field and helping people.

However, I kept getting this nagging feeling. I was aware of my intuitive gifts, and I was frustrated that social work didn’t fully address the spiritual aspect of people’s problems. I finally decided on intuitive counseling as a career.

In order to allow this new beginning, I have had, and still have to, let go of many things.

I’ve had to let go of the thought that social work is my only life purpose.

I’ve had to let go of the belief that I was somehow evil or wrong for doing this.

I have to let go of my deep need for my family’s approval.

So how can we practice letting go? Well, let’s start with the physical things that we no longer need. You can practice letting go by deciding what you are going to keep, what needs to be thrown away, and what can be given away. Then, welcome something new into your space by buying a plant or some new clothes to replace the old ones.