my big chin and the lie of perfectionism

Earlier in my business, I reached out to a friend and asked her to help me film a video for my Facebook page that would describe my services.

After several attempts, I finally had something that I could use. One of my family members was horrified and tried to get me to take down the video. She said that the camera made me look as though I had a big chin.

I began to feel insecure because I just wanted a perfect profile video. However, the voice of my intuition urged me to leave the video alone. After all, it was the voice of my inner critic that demanded perfection, and my family member reflected it back to me. It’s easier to let go of perfectionism when we can find evidence that we are more than adequate.

I’m functioning just fine with my big chin, thank you very much.


accepting what is

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to attend an arts inclusion event with people who are blind and visually impaired as well as sighted volunteers. In honor of Earth day, we were given clay and asked to sculpt something that reminds us of our planet. I decided to attempt a cat sculpture. I started with the head and formed a little cat face. I shaped its little ears, little nose and a mouth that was open as if the cat was about to meow.
Then, I created the cat’s body, its legs, and finally the tail. After I had finished, the cat felt slightly deformed. When I tried to fix it, the ears fell off, the mouth completely disappeared, the tail fell off, and the legs collapsed into themselves. What would’ve happened if I didn’t try to fix it? I realize that it is easy to have some resistence to the concept of being present, and it’s not always easy to do. However, it’s a much more enjoyable way to live life.
Instead of trying to make everything perfect and forcing life to comply with our expectations, maybe we need to start by accepting ourselves and circumstances exactly as they are right now. Then, we can decide whether changes need to be made at all.

a word about discernment

Self-doubt is something that plagues many of us from time to time. However, the voice of self-doubt, perfectionism, and criticism has nothing to do with who we are on the soul level.
However, the voice of our intuition is never critical, and it will bring us closer to the divine. While the voice of self-doubt is often loud and obnoxious, the voice of our intuition is persistent, quiet, and gentle. If we listen to the voice of self-doubt, we may find that we are taken on one detour after another in our lives and we allow fear and insecurity to guide our decisions. However, if we take the time to quiet our mind chatter and allow our intuition to speak, the path becomes smoother. That is why it is important to discern between the voice of our intuition and the voice of self-doubt.
For example, I’ve struggled with perfectionism for years. I’ve decided that my inner perfectionist sounds like a valley girl and has perfect hair, skin, and teeth. If I happen to be giving a reading and a spirit with similar characteristics comes through, things might get a little more complicated. If that shappens, I may have to come up with another system.

Five Life Lessons I’ve learned the Hard Way

While some people master their life lessons quickly, others tend to take their time.
Many others, like me, learn some of them the hard way. In fact, I’m still working through some of them.

1. Sometimes good enough is simply good enough. We are not meant to do everything perfectly. We can give ourselves permission to make mistakes and hopefully learn from them, and we can always improve ourselves as we go. I’ve learned that extreme perfectionism can trigger bouts of depression, anxiety, and procrastination.

2. It is essential to let go of the past. It may take the form of clearing out old limiting beliefs, healing emotional wounds, or forgiveness work. Either way, letting go of past hurts and negativity clears the way for more positivity.

3. We are all worthy of love. We are worthy of love from ourselves, other people, and God. It doesn’t matter how many mistakes we’ve made because all is forgiven. True unconditional love does not judge us for those things.

4. Other people’s rejection, hatred, intolerance, anger, and unforgiveness most likely has nothing to do with you. Often times, these people are projecting their own hurts and insecurities. Try not to judge them.

5. It is okay to ask for help. If we don’t, we just make things harder for ourselves. Also, by asking for help, we give another person a chance to be of service. This is a lesson that I’m definitely still working on, but I can tell you that every time I’ve asked for help, I was rewarded. Yes, you might encounter those who are less willing to help, but you can choose to steer clear.

I hope that this article was helpful in some way. For more information about my work, please visit

redefining success

How do we define this thing called success anyway? Don’t we all want to be successful? Well, that’s a great start, but first we have to define it for ourselves. I used to think that if I earned good grades in school, worked really hard, and strived for perfection, I’d eventually find that dream job and start earning some money. Maybe then, I could say that I was successful. Well, I have a confession for you. Some of my college grades weren’t really that great, I’m not perfect, and I’m definitely not rolling in dough.

So if I were to use my previous definition of success, then I’d have to say that I am a failure. However, I prefer not to think of myself that way. I believe that in order to define success, we need to take a more holistic approach. That is, we need to look at the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of our situation. Now, after taking my previous view of success and replacing it with a holistic view, let’s take another look at the subject. Within the last two years, I’ve lost fifty pounds, significantly decreasing my risk of developing certain diseases. As a result, I’m more active and have more energy. I’ve also adopted a more positive attitude, significantly reduced the effects of negative self-talk, and decreased my dosage of antidepressant medication. I’ve also graduated from college with a degree in social work, began writing a book, and will be starting an intuitive counseling business. I’d say that after redefining success, I can see that I am successful. How do you define success?